Kat asked:

Is marriage doomed without major changes?

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Perhaps it is people's natures rather than the institution of marriage that is at fault. These days of the
decline and failure of marriage coincide with the rise of individualism and the dislike of compromising
one's personal potential and ambition to the demands of another. I notice from friends who are in their
forties and unmarried that they have put themselves in a position which is so self-orientated that they
feel they couldn't get married and give up their freedom and homes and share.Yet they are lonely
and wish they could do so.

Marriage makes more demands on a person than co-habitation. In both situations you need to share
and compromise, but in the latter case you have a get-out clause if you don't like a situation: "But
we're not married". Half-heartedness or a lack of total commitment is not going to help a relationship
that must be close to develop. Development of such a relationship comes through mutual knowledge
of a sound basis for trust in the other's commitment.

Rachel Browne

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